As National Coming Out Day came to an end last night, I was sitting in my apartment in Hollywood feeling quite safe and secure, knowing I could walk to the corner store and no one would care if I was gay or not.
I'm not saying anything revolutionary by pointing out the fact I am privileged to live without that fear. Hundreds of thousands of my gay, lesbian and trans brothers and sisters live with that fear daily. This weekend I met Sirdeaner Walker, the mom of Carl Walker-Hoover, who took his own life earlier this year at 11 years old after relentless bullying at school because the kids thought he was gay.
Sirdeaner told a crowd of 600 gathered for GLSEN's LA Respect Awards that she finds the courage to speak about her family's tragedy because that is how she ensures her son's death will not be in vein.
Thirteen years ago, I came out, just 4 months before we lost Matthew Shepard in his brutal murder. Judy Shepard found and continues to find that same courage Sirdeaner finds. These amazing women are 2 of my everyday heroes.
I've been an activist since before I came out and in this last year since we lost the marriage battle in CA, I've had so many moments where I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit because I was angry. Because I was resentful. Because I was tired. Because too few of us are fighting this fight. But then I think about Judy Shepard. I think about the 16 year old lesbian who marched on the Mormon Temple with me in November when she and I were jumped from behind and kicked around. I think about my mother and my grandmother's activism on our behalf. And now, since Friday night, I hear Sideaner Walker's words echoing in my ears.
How can I be too tired, angry or have any other excuse to quit?